When I joined Facebook last year, it was a direct result of a breakup I had just experienced. However, I promised myself that I would never use my account to start any drama or partake in anyone else's. That vow still stands. Any dalliances or liaisons I've incurred since then have been referred to obliquely in my status updates if at all. Hell, I didn't even establish the "relationship status" on my profile page for the first six months. Yes, it has been difficult to resist the temptation of calling Emily on her shit, or announcing to the world how much it hurt being lied to by Sarah, or talking about how unstable almost everyone else seems to be. Temptation is nothing new to me, though; after all, I've entertained the thought of having a drink once in a while, but I remain six years sober.
Come to find out a year later that almost nobody holds themselves to such a high standard on Facebook. It feels like everyday I'm dodging through Katy fighting with Hank, Kevin pining after Alicia, Emily feeling jilted, Sarah getting played like a cheap fiddle, and Xylia's inability to do anything about Brian. And DON'T even get me started on the single parents that can't keep their passive aggression to themselves, or at least between them and the other halves of their collective single parent equations.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I kinda feel cheated by not telling everyone on my friends list what it feels like when your former love, two days after breaking your heart, wails to you, "You're my best friend!" and you want to believe her as much as she thinks she believes herself but you know deep down that you can't allow it. (In case you're interested in knowing, it's a sensation that haunts you for the rest of your life.) I could also describe the feeling like you're being thrown headlong into a dystopian alternate reality based on Murphy's Law. (It's strangely comforting if you watch enough movies or read enough comic books based upon the selfsame scenario.) How about an observation on the length of time one would want to scream at the top of their lungs when one's ex-girlfriend proclaims she isn't actively seeking a new partner, but then a CRAIGSLIST W4M AD is found, authored by her, that suggests the contrary not an hour later? I've quantified that quite handily. (Only until I stood her up the next day, by accident but without compunction, on a movie date we were supposed to have.)
So it may have been slightly justified to air said grievances on Facebook, but then I remember that I have two things at my disposal:
Also, if you are one of the people I mentioned above and somehow stumbled upon this entry: give it a rest for once, will ya?